Not Everyone’s About That Swirl, Girl

A few weeks ago I watched the finale of a show called “Catching Kelce”. Real quick, the show followed NFL star Travis Kelce in his quest for love. He got to choose from 50 women, one from every state. After weeks of girl drama and anticipation Travis ended up picking a woman named Maya. A black woman from Kentucky. I WAS THRILLED! Being a mix girl that has dated a white athlete, jock what ever you want to call it, I was stoked. With the age old question  “Do you date white guys” by white men, this was a Hell Yes!! It was an interracial relationship created on a reality dating show, in a public forum. Its possible! Which seems silly to say but it was big for a me. As girl/woman who has watched many seasons of the bachelor and other dating shows, to see an interracial couple be the out come was beyond exciting and a little emotional for me (ugh lame lol). Call me biased, thats ok, my parents are in an interracial relationship and I’ve also only been in them, so for me it was a small yet big victory for my swirl girls and guys all over.

After the finale, in the days that followed, Maya was bombarded with celebratory support. There was also a lot of negative which is the reason for this post. The negative comments ranged form stupid mindless hate to absolute rage and intolerance that had vicious derogetory slurs, death threats and pure racism at its finest. The vile comments are ones I totally expected. That may sound terrible but lets be real here, not every one was gonna like that the handsome white boy went for the dark girl. Which I don’t think our friend Maya was totally aware of. I hope no one bats an eye at interracial relationship at some point in my life time but for now this is the world we live in. Needless to say the hate for me was whatever. Being something I’ve experienced first hand on numerous occasions dating white men, my mentality was “it come with the territory”. Some of you might think, how horrible but it is a very real thing. This is where Maya, chosen love interest of Travis Kelce, was caught off guard. The racial hate spewed at the new couple was pretty huge, balanced of course by the positive (in my opinion), its still jarring. Maya did her best to defend herself, posting multiple snaps that the haters were crazy, out of line and uncalled for. Then she said “its 2016, and you all still have a problem with us dating?”. Of course they do girl! She recently went as far to say that they have ruined this for her and its not even fun anymore. How sad!  After watching her respond, react, disable comments and delete any evidence of Travis off her social media page, my only question was “Why didn’t any one brace her for the shit storm coming, that is an interracial relationship?”. Never mind that fact its in the public eye. It also bothered me that she takes time out of her day to address the negative. On and on, asking people to leave her alone. Why not take your time to praise the support and not even give this hate one drop of your precious energy!

#Swirllife everyday all day but us who date people out side our ethnicity face an extra element of scrutiny. Fair or not, right or wrong, its there. A battle I don’t care to address most the time because at the end of the day it makes no sense. We are people, it doesn’t matter what the color of someones skin is that you love. That being said, I don’t think anyone told poor Maya that some of these people aint gonna like a white boy and black girl being together. Why wasn’t she prepared?! Where was her PR? Where was her advisory to say the back lash about to happen would not only be overwhelming but down right evil in some cases. Evil, pointless, hateful comments said for no other reason except to hurt. Maya stated on the show she has never dated outside her race, which is probably another reason she wasn’t ready.

Having had serious relationships white men and dates with others, the comments range. I remember once I was 18 walking out of a farmers market and a guy snickered he likes black pu**y, to which a security guard yelled “black pu**y lover”. My boyfriend (first boyfriend btw) tried to turn around to confront the duo. I grabbed his wrist and said “Babe, you do so lets go” (lol). We giggled in the car realizing the ridiculousness of it. Another time walking with a guy on a first date a car drove by and yelled “Ni**er lover out the window. My date was appalled and completely devastated asking if I was ok, or if that happens often. I shrugged it off trying to comfort him. I’ve even had parents say “Oh… you’re Chelsea”,  like in some way my name was deceiving to who was gonna walk through the door. I’ve also had parents ask how they could have possibly raised a son to be attracted to a monkey. I’ve been called a race trader and white washed even been told I hope you get aids and infect him to teach him a lesson (oh yeah, Its a lot) and on and on! But I’ve always been use to some sort of judgment going all the way back to when I was younger walking through the grocery store with my mom, who’s white. The quiet comments and quick turn aways when glancing their way.

So yeah, racism is still very much a thing but its just something I know is there. Like traffic at 5 o’clock its lame but I don’t have road rage so I’ll just play the music load and enjoy the ride. I don’t always hit traffic either. It doesn’t take or add to my life its simply a fact dating “outside my race”. And why wasn’t Maya ready, because she underestimated racism in 2016.  A Quiet disagreement usually given voice behind a keyboard. An annoying nat around your love life fruit bowl. We who date outside our race, although we no longer face the persecution and danger, we still face just plain old hate. You have to leave it there, on your computer, in the car that drives by, speak up when called for (which is rare in my opinion), not every comment needs or even deserves an answer or battle. Ignorance does not need to be entertained especially when your argument will fall on deaf ears most of the time. I wish Travis and Maya the best, she seems to be handling things a little better now. She still comments on the racism, pleading to be left alone, which is utterly pointless. Someone should just take her phone away already. Like these people who can’t stand her are all of a sudden gonna be like “Oh ok, she doesn’t like what were doing, thats enough”. Girl please!  If I could tell Maya anything it would be, do not give this hate even a bit of life by responding AT ALL, the support you are receiving is response enough. It’s none of your business what people think of you, even if its put in your face.

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Comments

  1. Hola! I’ve been following your blog for a while now
    and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from
    Dallas Tx! Just wanted to tell you keep up the good job!

  2. At this moment I am going away to do my breakfast, afterward having my breakfast
    coming yet again to read other news.

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